I am a Stranger to Myself

There are so many things that people keep bottled up inside. We all do it, including me. Here is where I want to release those emotions and problems and worries and fears that I cannot bring myself to say out loud. I find inspiration and comfort in writing and pictures and songs and lyrics. I hope that I am able to touch at least one other persons life and help them find the comfort that they are looking for. I hope that, even if only for a day or a minute, I am able to bring healing or give reasoning for the pain that we all struggle to over come and fight through and live with each day.

It just hurts sometimes.. 

While I can’t have you, I long for you. I am the kind of person who would miss a train or a plane to meet you for coffee. I’d take a taxi across town to see you for ten minutes. I’d wait outside all night if I thought you would open the door in the morning. If you call me and say ‘Will you…’ my answer is ‘Yes’, before your sentence is out. I spin worlds where we could be together. I dream you.

—Jeanette Winterson (via withdecorum)

(via complicatedhumanbeing)

A good story should make you laugh, and a moment later break your heart.

—Chuck Palahniuk, Stranger Than Fiction (via withdecorum)

(via complicatedhumanbeing)

There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn’t matter anymore.

—Laurie Halse Anderson  (via anditslove)

(Source: buryyournose, via en-beaute)

I know I’m so much better than this. He doesn’t deserve the tears I cry or the hours I spend wondering, hoping, wishing things were different. I know he cares and thats what’s so hard about it. He cares… just not enough. Not enough to realize what is right in front of him. But tell me this. Tell me why and help me make sense of it. It’s been a year- he and I, off and on, no rhyme or reason- it just is. It’s been a year and I haven’t had sex with him, won’t have sex with him yet somehow he still keeps me around. I’m confused. I don’t get it. Not even a little bit. It’s something he knows i’m not giving up especially after all this time. Not after all he’s put me through. And to be honest, even in my weakest moments when i may want to, I never will. It’s almost turned into a game for him, and this is the ONE thing I have control over. He underestimates my will power, my strength, and my morals. And this is one thing I will never give up and never sacrifice. At least not until I trust him (whether its the him i am talking about or a completely different  person) 100% and more. It’s not something I joke around with and its not something that will go easily. I respect myself to much for that. I just wish I were able to let him go all together. Not just hope and wish and imagine what things would be like if he changed. If anyone has advice, please, HELP!